New Girl Fishes For Laughs, Catches Terrible Episode

I get that Hollywood sometimes fudges science for dramatic effect, and I’m willing to overlook warp drives and extraterrestrial DNA goop sometimes to enjoy a sci-fi flick. But this week, one of my favorite shows completely botched biological reality, and I simply can’t stand for it. Shame on you, New Girl, shame on you.

A relaxing trip to the aquarium leads to all-out writer FAIL

For those of you who don’t watch the show, New Girl is about four eccentric roommates that live in LA starring the quirky Zooey Deschanel alongside three off-beat male leads. In the latest episode, one of the boys, Schmidt (played by Max Greenfield), is having a tough time getting over the fact that his dream girl and ex Cece (Hannah Simone) is getting married. In an attempt to cheer him up, his buddy and roommate Winston (Lamorne Morris) takes him on a soothing trip to the aquarium. Instead, Winston’s plan backfires, and Schmidt becomes obsessed with a fish that reminds him of Cece: the lionfish.

Cue me screaming at the television.

It’s no wonder that Schmidt falls for the dangerous and beautiful lionfish. I certainly did — that’s why I am studying them for my doctoral dissertation. They’re a popular aquarium fish, and their elegant, striped spines have lured many a collector, so that is not what made me so mad. You see, Schmidt, now completely obsessed, inquires about buying the fish. He is told that he can’t buy it because the California Lionfish is endangered, and protected under state law.

Are you kidding me?

Lionfish aren’t native to California — at all. While they’re found throughout the rest of the Indo-Pacific, California’s chilly coast is devoid of these tropical fish. In fact, lionfish aren’t native in any US state except Hawaii. So no, there isn’t a California lionfish, and there certainly isn’t a protected one.

I don’t know what angered me more: the complete fabrication of an endangered species, or that the species they chose to make up is actually the exact opposite. Lionfish are about as far from protected in the US as possible: they’re responsible for one of the worst invasions in history.