70s Monster Mash

Cosmic Variance
By cjohnson
Oct 31, 2005 1:56 PMNov 5, 2019 8:04 AM

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Well Saturday night's party was excellent. My main problem was the costume, since the theme was the 70s, with disco involved in a big way. The idea was to "reach into the back of your closet" and bring out some clothes from the era and show up. Well that's a problem for me since (a) I don't have any 70s clothes of mine within easy reach (in my line of work, you move a lot during your formative years and don't hang on to unneccesary stuff) and (b) if I did have any 70s stuff, it would not fit. I was a little kid back then. So I had to think of something. Well, the oldest piece of clothing I had in my collection was a pair of old Kung-fu pants from the 80s. And a Kung-fu belt. Ah! Well, of course there was a huge fascination with karate and kung-fu (among other things) in the USA during the 70s, and so that could be it! But if I just showed up in these pants and a t-shirt that would not do. The pants did not fit well, anyway, and so I thought it would be great to do it properly. So my idea: a full Kung-fu uniform, with fangs..... undead Kung-fu, etc. Subtle (ish), and preserving a bit of dignity, if I can find a nice-fitting all-black outfit. (I have standards to maintain, you know...)

I was working on writing a paper all day and so did not put this idea into action until almost too late! Google local gave me the location of a Hollywood martial arts supply store not far from home over on Western and I made it over to it within one minute of closing time! I had no idea how much it would cost (but I had my hopes for what would be reasonable) and whether it would work or not, but it was just fantastic. They had exactly what I was looking for -the Kung-fu pants and the jacket- at exactly the price I'd hoped it would be, and they even had the Kung-fu shoes for an extra $3! They even had the (more elegant) jacket with black cloth buttons as opposed to white ones! I left the store thinking that I love this city - you can find anything you want in no time and it's not crazily expensive. The thing is really rather well made too. At less that $40 for the whole outfit, and given how comfortable it is, I'm beginning to think that I might just start wearing Kung-fu outfits all the time.....hey, people did it in the 70s! Ok, maybe not such a good idea.....

So now for fangs. This meant that I got to go into two types of stores that I pass all the time in this city and never go into. I finally had a reason. The first type is dedicated party supply stores, called things like "American Party", or something like that. I'd always fancied the idea that there were just parties going on in there all the time, and you can just go in if you feel like a party. Well, the one I went into was full of party stuff, and lots of people buying things for Hallowe'en parties, but it was no different from being in a supermarket, with people solemnly putting things like scream masks and ghoul makeup into baskets at though they were groceries. I found the few fangs they had left, but they were $15 and I'm trying to save money and could not bring myself

to pay $15 for two tiny pieces of plastic -especially having just had such a great success with an entire suit of clothes including shoes! The other type of store is the 99c store. Filled with all kinds of things for 99c. They had a Hallowe'en section (like all stores do). No fangs. Target had no fangs either. I was beginnig to despair a bit, driving all around Hollywood and finding no fangs. It had become a bit of a mission. I then got a suggestion from one store worker - Of course! On the main drag of Hollywood Blvd just a block or two from Highland there's a huge wonderful store -Hollywood Toys and Costume- dedicated to this sort of thing: Props and costumes, the works. And there was a real party atmosphere in there too, with professional-looking people buying things. They had a whole counter selling high quality makeup for theatrical applications....very professional. They had fangs. The

same ones I saw in the first five minutes of my shopping an hour before. Same price. Sigh. But then at $10 they had the cheaper ones which only attached temporarily (they said). It would seem therefore that the $15 were permanent. (?!) I've no idea what that means, but got the $10 ones and left. (I was thinking at that point I could get two usages out of the $10 if I wear them while introducing Monday's Colloquium speaker. That would be a blast...) After working a bit more, I went over to the party (in West Hollywood, more or less) at 11:00pm. Even though it is not too far (relatively) from where I live, I drove there instead of cycling since it's just asking for trouble to go around outdoors in a full Kung-fu outfit, even if you have impressive fangs. (I found parking a couple of blocks away and while walking back to the car later after the party, I had the pleasure of nodding knowingly to a fully uniformed Santa Claus as he went from some other party to his car.) So it was a great party. I did not scare anyone away with the standard physicist's repellant - saying what their line of work or study is - but this might be because of all of the excellent loud 70s music playing, and getting on with the business of dancing to some excellent old tunes. Well, the outfit was a hit. I did have to explain it a lot, but then people got it, and I'm pretty sure that a number of people just decided that I had quite unruly teeth, rather than fake fangs. Have a look at the result here. Speaking with an English accent probably confirms that, along with my (real) front tooth gap (recall that excellent line of a dentist in the Simpsons: "Let's have look at the big book of British smiles, shall we?"). But those who recognised them as fangs got the whole idea of the costume, I think. So a success. There were several interesting people there, and most of them in "The Industry", as we like to call it here. And more than a few of them might be familiar to you from film and television, and maybe theatre. (I'm not talking Brad and Angelina here, but you're a crowd with taste, so you've seen quality smaller (often independent) films, and some of the weekly "career" drama shows on television in which these people take significant roles.) I did take some pictures of the general fun and costumery, but have decided against showing them to give the wearers their privacy, since I don't know them very well, can't guess whether they'd mind, and don't really know what the rules of engagement are in this world. But it seems the right thing to do. They weren't very good photos away. I was shooting in the dark so it was hit and miss with the framing. Hearing about the various projects people were up to, I did have a thought that it would be nice one day if lots of those young actors (those with steady work and also the hot hopefuls) in the room did protrayals of scientists and people doing science as regularly as they played lawyers, cops, and doctors. (More science and scientists in the mainsteam. I keep on about that don't I?) Maybe they'll all be in a show I help create one day, I thought, as I looked around the room. Then I realised I'd had too many vodkas at that point, and weakened the next drink by diluting with much more fruit juice..... -cvj

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