Oh, my God, I tell my companions as we’re waiting for the elixir to kick in. I kind of remember how to do quadratic equations! Soon I’ll probably solve the mysteries of galaxy formation. Then maybe I’ll understand the secret of life. Maybe I’ll even understand the lyrics to ‘Louie, Louie!’
You can get a little overoptimistic when you toss back your first New Blue, a blueberry syrup, vitamin, and amino acid cocktail that’s one of an emerging strain of potent potables (Don Pardo’s favorite category) called think drinks, or smart drinks: nonalcoholic beverages enhanced with additives alleged by their purveyors to improve memory, concentration, learning, and general well-being and to reverse some of the effects of aging.
I’m tripping down the primrose path of self-improvement at the smart bar of the DNA Lounge, a club in San Francisco’s SOMA (South of Market) district, the happening part of town. (To find the happening part of any town, advises my upstairs neighbor, a graphic designer so firmly on the cutting edge that his butt is coleslaw, just follow the people wearing all black. Which works pretty much everywhere except Amish country.)
Will they IQ us at the door? one of my companions had anxiously asked as we approached the club. In case things get out of hand, he’s volunteered to be the designated chucklehead, agreeing to remain soberly unthinking while the rest of us cerebrate wildly.
There have been other great moments in bar history: the premier brewing of beer by the Sumerians, the successful miniaturization of the paper umbrella by the Taiwanese, the invention of the clock that says the bar opens at five and has all fives on its face, the cultivation of the fern. And now the smart drink, a big thing among the cyberknowledgeable, the New Edgers, the Just Say Techno crowd who like their pleasures electronic and healthy.
