Have you had to deflect any nagging questions from loved ones about what you're getting them for the holidays this year? You're not alone: During December, retail spending is almost double compared to earlier parts of the year, according to the U.S. Census. And studies have found that much of our gift giving is rooted in the obligation to reciprocate. Holidays such as Hanukkah and Christmas are “ritualized occasions,” in which gift giving is meant to strengthen social bonds.
But for many people, the obligation to reciprocate — of the fear of failing to properly reciprocate — can make the exchange feel forced or stressful. And it can be distinctly uncomfortable when we're presented with a gift we didn’t anticipate. “We feel burdened by the process of having to anticipate who is going to give us a gift and the level of that gift because we want to match it,” says Robert Cialdini, a social psychologist and the author of Influence at Work.
