And our eyes, again, are on the skies. My guides at this early hour of the morning, ornithologists Chris Filardi and Paul Sweet of the American Museum of Natural History, are frozen in reverence by the sight of what they assure me is a male American redstart, fanning its tail as it hops from branch to branch at the very top of a tree. I work the knob of my binoculars and succeed in perfectly replicating the magnified blur of leaves and sky that would follow every tee shot in the early days of televised golf. Suddenly there it is, though: a bird, fanning its tail and hopping from branch to branch, precisely as advertised.
"Magnificent," Chris murmurs.
That's overstating it, I reckon, but not by much. I'm clearly never going to be in Sweet and Filardi's league—Sweet manages the museum's climate-controlled mass grave of bird corpses; Filardi spends months on end living in a hut made of leaves on the Solomon Islands, extracting birds' DNA—but even I, an urban sophisticate with a belly full of latte, experience an ineffable, or barely effable, satisfaction at the sight of a twitching organism ringed by darkness. Which apparently may have something to do with the fact that behind my drapes of custom tailoring and shimmering layers of TRESemmé Anti-Frizz Smoothing Crème, I am a man.
It must be acknowledged up front that the greatest birder of all time, the unimprovably named Phoebe Snetsinger, was a woman—moreover, the kind of woman who puts men to shame. Diagnosed with terminal cancer in 1981, Snetsinger, at the time only a casual bird-watcher—note the distinction—chose to say good-bye to the world with a hard-core birding trip to Alaska. Eighteen years and 8,500 species of birds later, Snetsinger further embarrassed her physicians by dying in a road accident while birding in Madagascar.
The rest of us, though, are predominantly male. Exact figures are hard to come by, but the anecdotal evidence strongly suggests that while there might be a semblance of gender parity at the casual level, it fades away as one approaches the inner sanctum of obsessive birders like Sweet and Filardi.
Exactly why this should be has been the subject of intermittent scientific inquiry. The Nobel Prize–winning Dutch ethologist Nikolaas Tinbergen speculated it was some sort of sublimated expression of the ancient hunting instinct—an observation so screamingly true it seems rather petty of Tinbergen to have bothered to slap his name on it. Every healthy, red-blooded man knows the experience of being jolted awake, sometimes at four in the morning, by an aching conviction that he really should be out there on his belly in the undergrowth stalking a fellow organism. If one happens to have binoculars at hand, birding is a more than decent outlet for this atavistic hunger.
Significantly more light has been shed on the matter by the recent work of one Simon Baron-Cohen, a professor at the University of Cambridge, who theorized that men love birding less for its resemblance to the macho practice of hunting than for its resemblance to the unglamorous practice of accounting. Men and women have different brains, he has determined. Girls are apparently wired for something known as "empathy"—which I think has something to do with the way they always visit the restroom together while dining in a group at a restaurant. The male brain, conversely, is adapted for "systemizing," which is all to do with the making of lists, the recognition of categories, and (as regular viewers of the Learning Channel's Property Ladder can testify) a genderwide delusion that we can single-handedly replace the plumbing and wiring in a 1940s Long Beach bungalow over the course of a long weekend without a lick of prior experience.